Perfection

So, along with my new position at work, there comes some perks. One of them is that I have an instant messenger that we use to communicate to others in the building, however, I added Chris to my list of contacts and we chat off and on through the day. Nothing long, just short hello's, how are you, and updates on the kids.

There I am at work and I get an im from Chris. He wants to know how I felt about our daughter walking home from school with one of her friends. I wasn't there, and when I came back I returned the message asking him why said friend wasn't going to ride the bus as they've done all year. He says she can't ride the bus. Now this caused a lot of confusion because it is a public bus system. I ask him why she can't ride the bus anymore and he tells me he'll explain when I get home.

Several hours go by and I'm wondering about it as I drive home. If she got into trouble and was evicted from riding the public bus do I really want my daughter hanging out with this girl. She's always been a good friend to my daughter but getting kicked off a public bus is pretty serious thing.

So, Chris and I say hello and I settle down at the computer and he tells me that this little girl who has been such a friend to my daughter can't ride the bus because, her mouth and her.. obesity counselor... have decided she's too fat to ride to and from school.

I think my jaw hit the floor. The child is not fat. She's as tall as I am and a little thick, but by no means fat. I sat and thought of how my daughter would feel if I told her she was too fat to ride to school. My heart constricted and I felt so bad for this little girl.

What is wrong with people? Is being skinny so important that you would destroy the already fragile self esteem of a teenage girl? It made me take a long look at how we treat our daughter (who just turned 13 last month). I came to some conclusions about the whole thing. Maybe it is judgmental of me, but I've seen fat people, I'm no Barbie doll myself, and maybe some would say that I can't understand because my daughter is rail thin. However, I think if my daughter gained weight that I would have to look at myself as a parent before I looked to my child.

Isn't it my responsibility to teach my children good eating habits? Teach them to avoid junk food and use raw fruits and vegetables as snacks instead of potato chips and ice cream? Don't get me wrong, my kids get some treats, but that's what they are, treats.

My daughter is learning to cook, isn't my job to teach her healthier ways to cook? I think that the only fried food that we eat is hamburger meat. The children use it in hamburger helper, but we rinse the meat of all the grease before we add it. We make sure that they have vegetables and fruit.

If my children lack anything in their diets from the food groups it would have to be from the dairy section and even that's something that is borderline. They have milk with their breakfast, they eat cheese on their lunch sandwiches and we always have stuff like cottage cheese or cheese sticks hanging around.

>sigh<

As much as I went over and analyzed everything we do with her, I could find very little that we would change. We tell her she's beautiful. We tell her that she's smart. We laugh with her. We comfort her when she cries. We have increased her responsibility around the house, offset by the extra privileges she has. We encourage her to think outside the box and be creative in all that she does. If she shows an interest in something, we do our best to foster that interest. But does she >feel< good about herself? Does she >feel< smart, funny, beautiful, friendly? Negatives always seem to linger longer then positives and I keep asking myself if we give more positive then negative.

I can't imagine turning to her and saying "you're too fat to ride the bus"

I want to scream at that mother, I want to shake her, I want her to see that she's probably done more damage than good. I want her to see that her daughter is beautiful and bright and compassionate and loyal. I wish I could make her see that she's probably going to do more damage then good approaching it this way. I wish it wasn't so important for people to have the perfect child.

So if you have a daughter, no matter what age she is, take a moment to go and talk to her, tell her you love her, tell her she's beautiful or smart or funny. Make her feel good about herself.

My children are not perfect. My husband is not perfect. My friends are not perfect. My life is not perfect. They are however, perfect for me.

Classes Are Over

I have to let out this huge sigh of relief now. I am finally done with my first semester. I don't want to brag, but I managed to get a 4.0 with 4 classes, a full time job, 3 kids, and managing to do >most< of my recreational stuff in between. For a while I didn't think that I was going to make it.

I have not posted in a while because I had finals that I was cramming for. Thank you so much to all of you who have sent your love, support, wishes and prayers.

I love my new position at work. Not only do I feel like I am making a difference, I can actually see that difference.

When I took the team it was the "worst team" according to the other team leads. I sucked up every piece of advice that I could and began my own system. A system that has worked very well for me, and for my employees.

Two of the reps that I had on my team were nearing the loss of their job because of performance reasons. These are reps that have been with my company for the better part of 3 or more years. Their issues had been identified as "will" issues, meaning that they had the skill and knowledge, but refused to apply it and follow the rules. I realized in my first week of working with them that it was not a will issue, but a skill issue. Even though they have been with the company for a long time, they really did not have the selling skills needed. I of course, made this my personal mission and for weeks now I have been working side by side with them, giving them feedback, encouragement, and the occasional scolding when needed. This week it all paid off when they both moved up the chart we use to measure their progress. I was thrilled; it gave me a very good feeling.

I know that I was going to quit smoking. That didn't happen. Why you might ask. Because I had too much stress with all that was going on around me. I am going to take the summer off though and now that classes are over I am going to go back on the patch.

In more boring news, Chris and I have been talking about buying a house. I am so excited. With the raise that I was given we are now going to be able to clean up our credit and I don't even think that it will require us to file bankruptcy. Just a question for some of you financial wizards out there, someone told me that after 7 years a debt has to be wiped clean from your credit report even if it wasn't paid, can anyone tell me if this is true or not, and does anyone know where I can get a free credit report?

All my life, the only thing I have ever longed to >own< is my own house. My parents have been married for almost 60 years and they both say that the biggest regret that they have is that they never owned their own home besides a trailer house. For me, it doesn't have to be fancy. I want a room for each of the kids, and one for me and Chris. A fenced yard and a big kitchen. We have been looking and it is not much more expensive to pay the mortgage then it is to pay the rent. God willing we will be able to do this in the next year or two.

Coming soon I am going to go back to posting about my childhood. I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update, and I'm sorry I've been so lax about it. I promise with school out you will see me posting a lot more frequently.

Here was a site that amused me a lot. Mind you this is not a real product and was meant as an April Fool's joke. Enjoy

http://www.thedarkspiral.com/craveco/