Something To Start A New Memory With

Sometimes we meet people in our lives that are like a ghost, they come, they go, but they are not forgotten. Sometimes though, we meet people in our lives that become an intricate part of who we are.

The process itself is mind baffling. For me, I never intend for people to come or go in my life. When I first meet people I don’t make the decision or say to myself “Now that is someone that I am going to become close to” or “I’m going to be friends with the person and in a year they will go away.”

Instead, I take each person as they come into my life and simply accept who and what they are. I don’t always like people, so don’t paint me as a Saint. I am however honest enough to stay away from the people that I don’t like and I feel that I give everyone a fair shake.

Friendship doesn’t come easily to me. Not true friendship anyway. I can be kind and gentle, and offer friendship to many different people. For me though, true friendship is where they extend the offer back and a deep bond is formed.

Luckily for me, I do have such friendships in my life. One of them is what I want to talk about today though. Not only is a dear friend of mine, but, he is also Chris’ best friend.

This man is a regular visitor to my blog. He reads what I write and although he seldom comments here, he emails me, calls me, or, chats online with me about it; sometimes he says nothing at all about it. He has never judged me or my decisions, even if he doesn’t always agree with them. He has loved and supported me for nearly seven years now.

When I say that we are close, I mean that we are very close. I love this man. He does things that shock me, excite me, infuriate me, and like this, just simply touches deep into my heart and reminds me of exactly how lucky I am. I know that this man understands my battle with the darkness and not many people do

We have never met in real life, so it is strange to many people, the way that our hearts have touched each others. It goes beyond an internet relationship though. This man is a part of our lives. Not just mine, but Chris’ and the children’s.

My heart is so full of love for him that it is almost overwhelming to me. I will never be able to imagine my life without him and when I look back, I can’t see exactly where things changed, where we went from being casual friends to this. The testament to this friendship, for me at least, is the knowledge that Chris and I agreed that if anything were to happen to both of us, this man and his wife is where our children would go. We trust in him, in his love for us and ours for him, to know, without a doubt, that he would provide the best life possible for our children in the event of our deaths. He is full of love, and honor and faith. He believes in family first, and we all feel as if we are family.

We speak frequently on the phone. We spend hours with each other, laughing, crying, joking, mocking, and just in general, being together. He has never forgotten any of our birthdays, or our anniversary. He even helps my daughter with her Spanish homework.

I bring this all up because it was a few days ago that this man did something so extraordinary that it left me speechless for several days, if you hadn’t noticed.

A few nights ago I got home from work and as usual, I sat down at the computer and began to sort through emails. I called my mother and had a boring conversation with her at length while chatting with Chris and a friend of mine online. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the mail piled up on the chair next to me. The medium sized envelope caught my attention but I didn't pay it a whole lot of attention thinking that it was something that I had already opened and the kids just set the empty envelope there for lack of a better place to put it.

After some time, bored with my mother's complaints about my brother I reached out to lift up the package, causing Chris to sit up a little straighter when I gave him a curious look.

I turned it over and saw that it was addressed to me from Florida. I smiled faintly and began to open it. Not fast enough for Chris' taste as he kept telling me to just tear into it. I ignored him and kept at my slow pace, peeking in, inside I found a little note that read "Something to start a new memory with"

I peeked in a little further and my eyes welled up with tears as I pulled back the fancy tissue paper to reveal a brand new Mountain Dew shirt.

I stared at it for a long time, not even able to pull it out of the bag as my mind swirled with thoughts. He hadn’t mentioned that particular post to me, yet he had obviously read it. He loves me so much that in his own way, he is trying to erase the things that have happened to me.

Chris continued to beam at me as the tears slid down my face and I slowly reached in and withdrew the shirt. He didn’t understand the tears, because he doesn’t read my blog and a lot of the things that I’ve written here are things I can’t really talk about out loud. Chris seems content to know the general state of things, without all the horrible details and that works for us.

I slipped it on and it was as if his arms were around me. When I spoke to him later, he apologized for not being able to find a white one, but, as he said, “Something to make new memories with.”

I love you. Never forget that.