Maturing

Well, I tried really hard to write something great and juicy, I have a great scene to tell everyone about, but, something else has happened that I just can't get out of mind. So, I am going to blog about it and hopefully get it off my chest.

My daughter, who is eleven came to me the other day and asked me if she could speak privately to me. Of course I agreed and she says to me "I've been having pain here" as she lifts up her shirt. Now, let me make it clear, my daughter is very petite, yet, has always worn her shirts way to big for her. Imagine my surprise to see that her breasts have begun to grow. I nearly fell off of my chair.

So, what is the big deal you might ask? Well, she is the oldest of my kids, and she is the only girl. My baby girl. Who, is obviously no longer a baby. It struck me just how grown up she has become. I knew that she had a "boyfriend" but, it was the kind that starts because he writes a note and says to check the box yes or no, does she like him sort of thing. It is so hard for me to accept that she is growing so fast.

I was eleven when I had sex for the first time. That fact scares the crap out of me. I mean, we keep a much tighter reign on her then my parents did me. I also feel closer to her then I did to my mom at that age. But, maybe it is just me, maybe I just >want< to believe I'm close enough for her to come to about sex. We have had the conversations about it, she knows what it is, how it happens and all that. She also knows my views, as well as my husbands about waiting for the right person. But, will that be enough to help her make good choices.

I am scared to death she will make the same mistakes I did. I was pregnant with twins at fourteen. I miscarried them on my fifteenth birthday. It was horrible. Even at such a young age. I wanted to be a mother. I know now that it is for the best. I still don't want her to have to go through that experience. The father, was the first man I ever loved. When he found out I was pregnant, not only did he leave town, he left the entire state. Afraid, according to him, of what my family would do to him. I think he just didn't want the responsibility of kids. The rejection and loss. I know I can't keep her protected forever, but, it is my instict to do what I can.

Guess I'm gonna have to go out and buy her a training bra and hope for the best.