Blah

Must be nearly that time of the month again. I'm feeling very blah, current situations not helping me alot.
I wish people would say what they mean and mean what they say. It would make life so much easier.

I miss my online family. I'm always working, or sleeping. If I can manage to get here, they are busy. Seems life moves on without me. Oh yes, this is not a suprise to me. Guess what suprises me is how easily it does move on without me. Would anyone miss me if I were not here? Would they be sad? Would they think of me? Then I have to ask myself. Does it matter? The things I do in this life. Where they important to anyone?

I hate this time of the month. My emotions are alway so close to the surface. I just want to cry now. For no reason really. I mean, so he had other things to do. He has his life, I have mine. As does she. Why is this eating away at me so much? Maybe it's because I get up and rush to the computer, eager to see them, talk to them, make them laugh, or comfort them if needed. I don't feel very needed lately. I'm sure that will pass as soon as my period does too. Maybe my mother was right, maybe I need people to much. Smother them.

I can see as I reread this that I am not making alot of sense, so I guess I'll go for now, maybe later my words will make more sense to me.