Happy Thanksgiving

Today is traditionaly a day about families. About traditions. About being grateful for what you have.

Normally, I have always looked forward to Thanksgiving. It brings back some of my few happy memories from being a child. I remember long rows of tables at my grandmother's. A fire going in the fireplace. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins galore gathered around. The smell of the pies and turkeys lingering in the air. The stuffing, the gravy, the "real" mashed potatoes. I remember that we fought over the gizzards so much that my grandmother bought a package of nothing but gizzards to hold us over. Of course, there was also tons of fruit salad, green bean cassaroles, and, pretty much every side dish you could imagine since everyone brought two or three.

How I have longed to recreate such love, and wonder for my own children. I can remember every Thanksgiving that my husband and I have had together. There was our first year, where we went to my younger brother's house. Played games with them and my parents. I was pregnant, sister in law had just had a baby. My oldest kids were with their dad for most of the day. So, it was pretty much us adults. Then the next year, we went to my older brothers. This time, we had a new baby, my younger brother and his wife had a new baby. They deep fried the turkey that year. Not bad, but, not what I really wanted either. Didn't bother my husband, he hates turkey, he hates Thanksgiving. I still made pies and brought them. The next year found us living with my inlaws halfway around the country. My first ever away from my own family. It was hard, but, I cooked my ass off, anything to take my mind of missing them. The year after that, we were in our own place, and I hosted dinner. The inlaws, some guy we had befriended (a horror story for some other time) and us. It was okay, too much hustle and bustle in our small apartment. That year, we simply did our own thing. Tossed out the turkey, instead made a wonderful beef roast, potatoes, carrots, gravy, pumpkin pies, pecan pies, bread pudding, homemade rolls. That, is the same menu we have used ever since. This being the third year.

Well, I had to work this year. Not a great way to start the day. But, knowing I would come home to Thanksgiving was what got me through it. I managed to get 520 people through my register alone. Work was hell.

So, I get home. Husband and children greet me. I am feeling good. Until the husband opens his mouth " I need you to go the store, get cranberrie sauce, stuffing, and wine" I was furious. I just gave away the can of cranberrie sauce from last year to the local food drive. I ASKED HIM ABOUT STUFFING while we were at the store, and, I don't drink. WTF? I'm furious. I head for the door. He gets upset. Does the whole " never mind, never mind, I don't want you to go" crap.
I try to explain I had a rough day. He just wants to talk about how much cooking sucked. So I shut up. After a while, yeah, he wants to go to the store. We go. I head over to get our usual kind of wine. He doesn't want that. He wants a grape wine. Ugh, whatever. He picks out a wine. It has a cork in it. We don't have a corkscrew. We go check out corkscrews. They are more then the damn wine. So he settles for two different brands of cheap crap.

After much ado, we get the table set, settle down to eat. He pours the wine. It is so nasty that I can't drink it. We pray. We sit around talking about what we are thankful for, yadda yadda yadda. It was actually very nice, while it lasted.

As soon as everyone is done. I sit down at the computer. My best friend is online over in Australia. No, they don't celebrate, so, wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving is sort of stupid. But I do it anyway. Husband asks if I want to join their conversation. I say sure. He is relating a piece of the conversation between us and our daughter. A funny story really. I'm in good spirits. She doesn't seem to see the humor in, but, I guess it's one of those "got to be there moments". So, I ask him to tell another story about something that he did last night. He says no, and disconnects. Tells me that he ain't in the mood for her crap. I'm a bit peeved. I didn't feel like conversating. I wanted to spend time with my family. Then he tells me, to go put the food away. I'm stunned. That is a chore for our kids. Why is he making me do it? I ask him. I point out the children always put the food into containers and put it in the fridge. He says he wants me to do it. I ask if I need to do it >right now< , he says no. Fine, I'll get to it in a bit.

Next thing I know. He's settling down on the couch to go to sleep. I ask him why. He says it's because he's been cooking all day. Again, I'm stunned. Hello, I just worked nine fucking hours! I came home and then went shopping, then came home and helped finish dinner. I am expected to put the food away AND make the damn pies. Does anyone else here fail to miss the logic behind this? Then, he tells the kids to go put the food away. It's been FIVE DAMN MINUTES. After telling me it didn't need to be done right away. He did it because he knows I will jump up and do it my damn self.

Now, why is this all such a big deal. Because he let someone online ruin our holiday. He let her crappy mood piss him off enough that he went to sleep, at 8:30 instead of spending time with me and the kids. What kind of crap is that? I know Thanksgiving is not important to him. I get it. I am the same way with Halloween. I hate it, but he loves it. So I help him go all out, and I do it with a fucking smile.

My feelings are hurt. He could have put forth an effort for my sake. I do it for him all the time. Why is her mood and her attitude enough to make him crappy for the rest of the night. To boot, now when I wake him up to go to bed, he won't be tired anymore. I'll end up sleeping alone while he goes online and plays his game. With her, cuz, by then, he will be over it and so will she.

He won't have a fucking clue as to how much he hurt me today. Why? Because he won't listen when I talk. He will brush it aside. This is the last Thanksgiving I plan on celebrating. Every day I am thankful for things. Never again will I go all out and try to make it a memorable one.

Even now, I am fighting with the kids to get them to do their chores and I realize. It isn't important to them. It isn't important to him. I was the only one it mattered to, and now it no longer matters.

Hope your day went better then mine. Happy Thanksgiving.