Too Tired

>sigh<

I don't even now where to start. I guess I'll start with talking about my friend. Someone I've known for about six years now. I love the man. Pure and simple. Not like, I want to run and away and marry him type thing, just, love him. He is going through a really hard time right now. He's bi-polar, and is on one of his down times. This has, in the past, gotten really bad. I have tried to reach out to him, telling him I am here if he needs me, practically begging him to let me in. He just polietly tells me no but thanks. I want to scream. Doesn't he know by now that talking always helps him feel better? Is it so hard for him to trust in my love for him? I hate this feeling it gives me. It just drives me crazy. I just want to take him into my arms and let him cry on my shoulder until his world is right again.

Work was crap. Boss showed up at my house, because my phone still isn't working, and asked my husband to wake me up see if I would come in early. I did. I ended up working 12 hours. In general, the day was shit, we were busy, not enough help. Totally miserable.

I miss my family. I want to hold my new baby neice in my arms so bad I ache from it. I don't know, maybe it's because everyone around me is having babies. I wish I could have had one more. One more pregnancy, one more son or daughter. I don't know, it's crazy, the doctor warned me not to get pregnant ever again, or I would end up diabetic. That's why I had my tubes tied. But damnit I wish, just, sometimes, that I could.

I was going to post about a scene, but, with all the depression hanging around me like a thick cloud. I decided I better not. Small post, but, I am honestly too tired for anything more.