ID Please

So, life has continued on in Nikki's life, despite the feeling that she may die at any given moment from this nasty bug. It is finally beginning to pass and alas, I shall be returning to work soon. However, I would like to treat you to some of little things that happened while on my road to recovery.

Last night, Chris and I bundled up our youngest son, leaving the two older children at home to play video games, and headed off to Wal-Mart. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Wal-Mart? Biggest damn chain in the world and they can't afford to have separators to keep my goods from being blended in with that of the woman behind me.

Now, as you all know, I am poor. It's as simple as that. I accept my lot in life because I am rich in so many other ways; however, tax season is one time that this poor girl gets to live it up a little, okay, to be honest, a lot.

As crazy as this may sound, I went into Wal-Mart for two main things. To buy my patches to quit smoking, and to refurnish our bathrooms with new towels, rugs, soap dispensers, garbage cans, shower curtains, and anything else I could find that matched my bathroom themes. Yes, Nikki is defiantly an odd cookie, but I love to shop for things to make my house look all pretty. So, there I was, shopping away, when three women came down the isle with me, each pushing an overflowing cart. They were loud, obnoxious and obviously felt that they had all rights to the store because they so kindly pushed my cart out of the way, without a second glance to my son. Before I could open my mouth to speak, the woman who was carrying a small whimpering boy in her arms began to shriek at him. I tried not to, really I did, but I couldn't help but stare. The woman was yelling at this small boy about how he better shut his fucking mouth because he was driving her fucking crazy and she'd had about all the shit from him that she was going to fucking take. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was nearing 11 o' clock in the evening and again I stared at her, as did my boy. Before I could gather my wits and fury enough to jump in and get the crap kicked out of me for putting my nose where it didn't belong, a woman's voice came from the next isle over, shouting at the mother to shut her fucking mouth because the rest of the fucking shoppers had had just about enough of her fucking shit. Lord help me, I was trying not to be judgmental, but I couldn't help but snicker. I pulled my cart out of the isle and moved into the next one. In the meantime, the mother from hell began to scream at the unseen woman about how she should shut her damn mouth, mind her own business or she may find herself on the floor. The woman, who was in my plain view at this time, was shouting right back at the woman, daring her to come over and do something about it. Of course the woman came over to our isle, how dare anyone question her right to shout obscenities at a baby. Her big mouth nearly dropped to the floor and the foul words coming out of her mouth died on her lips when she rounded the corner and found that it was me, and an old woman in a wheelchair in the isle. Without another word the woman stalked off and the old woman and I shared a grin. She complimented me on how well behaved my son was and I thanked her and we moved on.

So, next to Wal-Mart is a Game Stop. Ah, good old Game Stop. A gamer's heaven some would say. I had fearfully dropped Chris off there with plans for him to meet me at Wal-Mart and I would take the boy with me.

Chris, being the darling he is, decided to sneak over to Wal-Mart and buy me my Valentine's Day gift early. As I've posted before he doesn't drive so it is nearly impossible for him to actually be able to surprise me.

So, in he goes, and the mad hunt for the perfect gift is on. Now, mind you, I'm a very simple girl with very simple tastes and he is well aware that it takes very little to make me happy. Hell, I'm happy to come home to a naked husband, if that tells you anything. So, alas, he finds a beautiful gift basket, wicker of course because I have a thing for wicker, and inside this perfect wicker basket is a beautiful bright red teddy bear, which he knows I'll love because it is what I collect and the bear is holding a chocolate rose in a container that is also full of chocolate truffles. Now, to show how simple I am, I had to open that right up just to see what the hell a truffle was, but alas, I begin to digress again.

Perfect gift in hand he saunters up the cash register, sets it down carefully and whips out his credit card. The lady scans the gift basket and a blank look crosses over her features and she stammers a bit before finally getting her words out as she looks up at Chris "Excuse me Sir, may I see your id please?" of course, Chris returns the blank look and replies "Pardon me?" The young lady becomes all the more flustered and says "Well, for some reason, it is asking me for your id, there must be something in the basket, you have to be 17 to buy " even as she speaks, she has picked up the precious gift and begun to inspect it. It is wrapped in cellophane, with a beautiful trio of ribbons tying it together at the top and I do believe one look at the expression on Chris' face was enough to keep her from opening it further. "You're telling me, that a teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and a wicker basket require me to be 17?" To which the gentleman behind Chris calmly replies "Brother, look at that basket, she knows you are going to get laid and she just wants to make sure you're old enough." Chris simply grinned at him and flashed his id at the blushing clerk and made his way out to the van where he set the basket up so that when I went to put my purchases in, it was the first thing I saw.

I was delighted and surprised and full of love for my husband and just in case anyone is wondering, the man was right.