Monsters In The Dark

I haven't been sleeping well. I've been sick and feverish through the night which has caused my night terrors to be worse then usual.

Last night I dreamed of the man that killed my sister. I was in a house with him and my daughter was there. I had to get her out and I could feel the old familiar panic rising. I was sitting on a couch, with her head in my lap as she slept. He sat across from us in a chair. I could barely make him out because the air was thick with smoke. Not smoke from a cigarette, but from the marijuana he was smoking. I could feel my brain beginning to buzz and I slipped a hand down to hover over her face, trying to keep her from breathing it in. he is talking to me but I can’t hear the words, just his maniacal laughter. I tell myself I have to remain calm, I can't panic.

I blink as she's gone. There is a plastic bag over my head, with a tube attached to it. I breathe in and the bag is sucked against my face and my chest hurts from the lack of oxygen. My hands shoot up, but the bag is too tight, too thick for me to tear away, my only hope is to get the tube into my mouth. I breathe in again and once more the bag is sucked against my face and I can feel the tears sliding down my face. Finally my hands find the tube and I lift it to my mouth and breathe in deeply. He is mocking my efforts. The exact words are gone now, but I know that he is challenging me to save her, to do it right, to not fail her like I did my sister.

I stumble along through a doorway. I can't call out to her, but I hear her frightened voice calling out to me. "Mommy, Mommy where are you? Mommy help me, I'm scared Mommy, please help me Mommy"

White hot rage pierces my brain and I struggle to think, to recall in my mind's eye how the house looked, trying to see when I am blinded, to find a way to save my beautiful daughter. Her soft weeping reaches my ears and I begin to move faster, my mind is too clouded to help me remember, I am running into things. It is painful, but I have to find her, can't let the monster get to her, I can't let him hurt her like he did Melody. She begins to scream.

I am in a room now, the bag is gone, and everything is red and hazy. His laughter seems to come from no where and every where at the same time. I blink several times, trying to see better, and my heart stops as I see a small figure lying on a bed in the center of the room. In the center of the blood red room. I dash forward, slipping on the wetness on the floor and I scream. I scream because I know that it is my child's blood, because I know he took her from me, the way he took Melody. I don't have the strength to stand anymore; all I can do is scramble towards the bed. My hands, my clothes, everything is covered in blood now and as I reach the tiny figure on the bed, I feel a fist closing over my heart. Her eyes stare at me, but they don't blink, they don't see me. Her beautiful blonde hair is red and her frozen expression of horror tells me I was too late to save her, to late to keep her from the monster.

When I wake up I am sobbing and sweating. I am trembling so bad I can barely make it out of my bed and I hold onto the hallway wall as I make me way to her room. The tears are real now and they are sliding down my face as I struggle against my panic as I reach for the door to her bedroom. "It was just a dream Nikki. It was just a dream" I keep telling myself over and over, yet, I can't stop the thumping of my heart, or the panicked feeling I have as I open the door. Even as my gaze lands on her, sleeping peacefully in her bed, I can't stop the panic. I pull the door shut, as to not wake her and I rush for the bathroom where the small amount of food I had for dinner comes back up with a vengeance. Once done I slump to the floor and cover my head with my arms and let myself go. Let myself sob until there is nothing more left in me.

I am so tired of the monsters.