Updating. . Again. ..

First of all. Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. Like has been kicking the shit out of me and damned if it didn't nearly win.

I read a blog the other day, in which the writer talked about maybe deleting the blog. It made me think about mine. I mean, what's the point of having this. I never write in it. Then I posted a response to her and came here to delete mine. I was even thinking of starting over. Then I read through the things I had already written and I realized that this was still important to me. I really needed this. Needed the outlet it provided for me. So, here I am, once more, to blog about my life.

Am I the only blogger that pours over tons and tons of other blogs? I read blogs about dominating relationships, I read blogs written by both the dom and the subs. I read blogs that some of our soldiers are writing. I read blogs about nothing.

This blog is supposed to be a place where I can put anything. No one knows me here. No one will come to my work and tell me I'm a pervert. No one will call my boss and tell him he has a sick twisted woman managing his store.

Don't see anything sick and twisted? Read on.

I recently shaved myself. Everywhere. Not even sure why, just, felt like it. This is not something I normally do, and well, probably won't again. See, as soon as the hair started to grow back in, I started to itch. It was driving me nuts. More then that though, I couldn't' walk anywhere without my over sensative pussy lips rubbing against each other and swelling up. This is all great if I can stay at home and fuck my husband like a rabid bunny. But nooooo, I have to work. I have to try to stand in front of my customers, feeling my wetness sliding down my legs, and smile like nothing is wrong. For four days, I used both of my ten minute breaks, and my lunch hour to run into the bathroom and bring myself to orgasm. Now mind you, these are very public bathrooms. Think that bothered me? No, it only turned me on more. Of course, each time I did this, it seemed to only make me need it more. I would run home from work and drop to my knees in front of my loving, if not suprised husband, and submissivly suck his cock until he filled my mouth with his sweet cum.

Life was great.

Then, as if to say "Okay Nikki, you've had enough happiness" shit started to hit the fan. I got pulled over for having outdated tags on my van. I knew they were outdated. They wouldn't let us renew them because I had my liscence suspended for not paying fines that stemmed from an accident that was not my fault. But, I had no insurance. Well, if I could have afforded the damn fines, I would have been able to afford insurance. So, anyway, they don't arrest me, but, tell me if they catch me driving again they will. I have to go to court, so I do. It's going to cost me roughly 550 dollars. I don't have that kind of money! The judge gave me 30 days to pay it and get myself legal again. Despair.

Then, out of no where. My guardian angels step in. People I've known online for years. The two of them get together and decide they are going to send me the money. One is a student in Australia, my best friend really, and I know she can't afford it. The other, a guy who is married, lives in the States, and, has flat out told me he loves me. His wife would be furious. But they are both stubborn and simply refuse to take anything but yes for an answer. I am so lucky.

Money is sent and recieved. Fines are paid off. Oh, they shut my phone off in the meantime because I couldn't pay the bill. Even though I called and made the arrangements. So I call and pay what I told them I would pay. 140 dollars. Yay, the phone is going to be turned back on. Not. They say "Oh, well, someone messed up and turned it off completely yesterday, you'll have to pay the remainder of the balance" I am furious. I could have used that 140 dollars somewhere else. I demand a supervisor. I explain how it isn't my fault someone else messed up. Then he tells me that the problem is they have an unpaid bill in my name from four years ago. I PAID THAT DAMN BILL! He calmly asks if I have the reciept. DO I HAVE THE RECIEPT FROM FOUR YEARS AGO!?! I MOVED HALFWAY ACROSS THE STATES. HELL NO! >sigh<>never<>not< notice it" So, women leaves, we go into the house. Daughter says she wanted to play at her friends. We inform her she is grounded for a week and has to do extra chores every day.

Think that's the end of this horror story? No. Husband tells me a social worker came by. Said they had a report that our children were going to school hungry, did not have proper shoes or coats and they are not being bathed regularly. WHAT THE FUCK? He invites her in. Shows her the kitchen where he is currently cooking dinner. Shows her all the food we have. Cupboards are full, fridge is cleaned out and fully stocked, not to mention our deep freezer. Then he takes her over and shows her the coat closet, counts out the jackets. My oldest boy alone has NINE, yes NINE jackets, ranging from everything from lightweight, to rain coat, to heavy winter jacket. Shows her snow boots, snow suit, the overflowing basket of shoes the kids have. She asks how often we give the kids baths. He tells her that "we" do not bathe our children. They are old enough to do so on their own. My oldest pops up with how he doesn't take baths. So my husband has to explain that no, they take showers, every other night. Woman leaves and tells husband I can call her if I want. Oh hell yes I want. So, Monday rolls around. I call, can't reach her. Tuesday rolls around, woman shows up. As I am speaking to her, my son's counseler shows up. She is livid and tells the woman so. Says out of all her families, we are the one that she has NO concerns whatsover about. She tells the woman how she never calls, just drops by to visit, and, our home is always clean. That our children are always well fed. The woman says that the complaint says that we are not feeding them before school. I point out that the school has a free breakfast program, so no we don't. The counseler tells her how I lobbied to get the children bussed to school, winning my battle, after they had refused the priniciple of the school. Tells her about how I went to the school and fought to get the teachers to do their jobs properly, resulting in the termination of one of their teachers. How I always put my kids first and she's seen it a thousand times. I could have kissed her. I may be some sick twisted bitch in the bedroom, but damnit, I put my kids first always. So, women goes to the school to talk to my daughter, then comes back to my house the next day. Of course, she is sorry for intruding on our lives, and yes, we understand every complaint has to be investigated, yes we look forward to her report, thank you for being so open with me, thanks for encouraging your daughter to be nothing but honest. I mean come on. Why would I tell her to lie to you lady? I just wanted to scream

So, this all brings us up to the present. For the most part anyway. There are some minor things in there driving me nuts, but yeah, welcome to my nightmare.